You're staying WHERE?
"The Super 8 on Lamar." Clearly, The Jeff travels in style.
"Stop. No. Cancel the reservation. Either that or buy a crossbow."
"Come on, it costs $70 a night, how horrible can it be..."
(cackling laughter, and the sound of my friend shouting at her roommate, 'hey, you know the Super8 on Lamar costs SEVENTY
dollars a night,' and then, the sound of more distant laughter.)
"Really. It's not safe. I might have to come over with my gun. Everyone who lives in Memphis who has any sense is armed, by
the way."
Now, I am the sort of person would worry more about a bunch of armed, paranoid white southerners than I would about a
night in a sketchy neighborhood. I mean, I always take comments like that with a grain of salt. There are people in
metropolitan Cincinnati who refuse to set foot within the city limits, or dismiss vast swaths of neighborhoods as strictly
no-go. I live in a neighborhood which I consider quite safe, but there are people who think Clifton is some kind of war zone.
These are people who can brave Springdale traffic on a Saturday yet refuse to visit the city proper. I find that just, odd.
It reminded me a little bit about when My Crazy Aunt Sally visited our family in 92. CAS became very upset, and, ultimately, LEFT my mother's hospitality when the two sisters got into this argument. CAS didn't want my Mother watching "The
Golden Girls." Well, hell, I don't really want my mom watching the Golden Girls either, just as I would not permit my
children from hanging around Hyde Park.
Does that make sense? Thank you for letting me share that story, btw.
(I promise. There is a reason why I am telling you all of this.)
Anyway, my tour guide absolutely INSISTED that my safety was at issue, and I am not unsympathetic to that. I mean, I drive
an old car with out-of-state plates and, well... LOOK AT ME... I'm this tall chunky white dude with glasses. It often feels
like I might as well be walking around in a big pink bunny suit.
So anyway, I had to cancel the reservation and Prepayment. And through a combination of persistence and skullduggery, I was able to.
Hotels.com can be a useful resource, but they have a rather draconian cancellation policy and outsourced customer service.
Call #, the "I chose the wrong hotel, can we switch the reservation to a more upscale Super8" gambit, was parried by the "you
are within the cancellation window." defense, It looked like I was going to have to heat $90 (taxes, etc.)... SO I played dirty.
Call #2 was placed at the rest area just South of Mammoth Caves. I said, essentially, that I made a reservation the previous
evening, and that my car had broken down, and I was unable to make it. So under these regrettable yet unforeseen extenuating
circumstances could we please cancel the reservation and refund the room fee?"
I very nearly chucked at the "Hotel Expert's" response.
"You say your car broke down?"
"Yes. And the part will have to be, like, custom forged."
"It sounds like you are in your car now."
Yes, She said this! I'm thinking, "Are you SASSING me, Agent #27?Of course I am in my car. I’m driving to Memphis to eat BBQ until I have to be literally rolled to the bars on Beale street. But I am not paying for this goddamn hotel room."
My response was classic Jeff, "Oh, I work at a chemical factory... Big trucks go in and out all the time."
Which is true.
SO after a little more pleading, she speaks to a supervisor and the reservation was cancelled. I spent twice as much but I
was infinitely more comfortable but had free breakfast and the Discovery Channel.
Okay, like I said, there is a reason I was telling you all of this.
This conversation took place at about 9:30AM on Friday, which meant that I was just south of Nashville at about 10:30. That
awkward little window where it's not quite time for lunch but perhaps too late for breakfast. I don't do brunch.
I've heard of the Loveless Cafe before, but I've never been. But the entire point of this trip was trying to avoid the
corporate food chain wherever possible. SO I tried it.
I didn't know this at the time, but it seems the proprietor was enjoying a burst of fame borne out of her recent appearance
on a show on the Food Network called "Bobby Flay's Throwdown," I've never seen it, but evidently the premise is that the TV
chef just shows up at a local food celebrity's home or place of business and challenges him/her to some sort of culinary
duel.
She was this diminutive woman whose smile just lit up the small wood-paneled lobby area. "Child, she said, I was ROBBED." I
don't know what sort of biscuit voodoo Mr. Flay employed, but aside from Lacing the dry goods with opiates I don't know
how they could have been better than what I ate.
Even at that off hour, I had to wait about ten or fifteen minutes to be seated. For such a small building, the place seemed
extremely bright and airy, with windows looking out onto the rural highway and the surrounding farms. The front room was
covered floor to ceiling with photographs, mostly country or gospel singers, actors on television hits of the 60s, Republican
senators and professional football players. Oh, and, inexplicably, Gene Simmons.
So. Here's the point.
It was 10:50 when I sat down. Breakfast or Lunch, I kept looking at both the menus. I want BBQ, but it's still breakfast
time and don't want to seem gluttonous. Then, something on the breakfast menu just struck me. I had to wipe my eyes a few
times because obviously I was reading it wrong.
But I wasn't.
IN THE SOUTH, YOU CAN GET BAR-B-Q for BREAKFAST.
What a civilized and genteel idea. The BBQ Breakfast Platter, 11.99. Two fluffy scrambled eggs, roasted potatoes, and these two, I guess, quantum biscuits that somehow defied all laws of physics by managing to be dense and fluffy at the same
time. The biscuits were served with these Jello-shot sized (Like when doctors give you pills to take?) containers of
homemade preserves, peach, strawberry and blackberry, each, in its own right, nearly perfect. You tasted fruit, and not
sugar or acid. Quite good.
Oh, right. There was a big pile of pulled pork piled over your breakfast platter.
Good stuff, too. The sauce was peppery but not overwhelming, the meat was sweet and juicy but not greasy or sopping. A near perfect texture, even if there wasn't a lot of bbq spice.
So after several more hours of driving, a shower, a luxuriant nap in my comfy hotel bed, I was ready for dinner.
I have to admit I am a little bit embarrassed about taking my camera into crowded restaurants to photograph the food. So I left it in the car, but we ate a late dinner at Central BBQ.
I usually don't care about an eatery's ambience. I've tasted not-of-this-earth meals in strip malls, for example, but this place had the best "feel" of any establishment I frequented this past weekend. It was dark, smokey and loud. We sat on little Formica tables and picked away at our overflowing baskets.
I don't know if this was an urban/rural thing, but the pulled pork here was VERY different from that which I tasted this morning. This stuff was darker, deeper and richer than the bbq at Loveless. It still tasted like meat (as opposed to just sauce) but it seemed like more time and smoke were involved.
At the end of the table there were a selection of squeeze-bottle sauces, one was just called "hot," which I avoided, but I did try a little bit of the vinegar option. I liked this. It added acidity and tang without covering up the rich, sweet smokiness.
A little drinking on Beale Street and I was set for the night. More tomorrow!
Posted by Jeff at 12:16
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22 May 2008
This is Not Another Post About Big Piles of Meat
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I'm going on a Bar-B-Q tour of Memphis this weekend.
Memphis has to be one of my favorite cities in the country. It's just the way it should be - people are friendly, the live music is phenomenal, and pitmasters are venerated as gods.
I've been there three or four times, most recently in 2000, a trip which, in retrospect, seemed like my own version of the movie "Sideways," as two college friends have a last road trip together before one of them gets married.
Well, kinda. I guess you have to substitute BBQ sauce for wine, and Leslie is a vegetarian anyway (Which made things really fun at Rendezvous) and, well, I don't really know where I fit in. But it was a road trip.
Like I said, I'm not talking about meat, yet.
First, check out hezbollah tofu The premise here, for those of you not familiar with the site, is to create vegan versions of Anthony Bordain's Recipes. Even without the hilarious premise, the site's writing makes it worth visiting.
Second, let me share one recipe.
This recipe was inspired by Perfect Muffins and Bakes, which I found on a sale table at Half Price Books. This was the recipe that leapt out. I changed both the method and the ingredients slightly, but it's well worth it.
ESPRESSO SQUARES
2 Sticks butter, softenend.
1 1/2 Cups AP flour
2 t Baking powder
1/2 t salt
1 t unsweetened dutch process cocoa (regular cocoa is okay too, i suppose)
1 C sugar
4 eggs, beaten
3 Tablespoons good strong espresso (instant espresso, via the powder, is fine, but remember, that powder is strong!)
White Chocolate Icing
4 oz white chocolate, broken into pieces
2 oz butter, softenend
3 T whole milk
1 3/4 cups confectioners' sugar
Oven to 350
Grease the bottom and sides of a 9 by 9 baking dish with the butter wrappers you have just liberated.
Sift together the flour, bp, salt and cocoa into a large bowl. Sit aside
Slowly add the sugar to the eggs, whisking constantly. Add the butter, again slowly. Add the espresso water.
Add the sugar/egg mixture to the dry ingredients, mixing until just combined.
Spread into the pan, and bake for 20-30 minutes, or until center is just set.
While the cake is baking, prepare the icing: Melt the chocolate and the butter and the milk over very low heat, stirring constantly, add the sugar.
(I like to add a drop of orange oil into the mix, up to you)
Allow the cake to cool before frosting.
Dust with cocoa and serve.
Anyway, yum.
So I'll try to post a couple times this weekend. Memphis beckons.
Posted by Jeff at 11:45
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16 May 2008
My Chowder is Calamine Lotion Pink. This is a Problem.
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Aside from my apologies for once again neglecting this space, I hope you will permit me one confession.
Remember way back when I started this blog? I told you pretty much straight up that I was NOT a chef, or even a food writer.
But some of you wont listen.
I get emails. Calls. In the middle of the night, even. Food questions. How do I make snickerdoodles? What should I do with this egg yolk?
(Answer: You follow a recipe, and B, you eat jeez.)
And it's not like I Focus Group this shit, folks. I pretty much do what, I assume, most food writers do. I just kind of make stuff up.Sure, I test, and usually I wont post a recipe until I've made a dish at least two or three times and am comfortable with the proportions and the cooking times and all of that.
But, yes. If you call me, and I tell you over the phone how to make a citrus curd from the yolk left over from your egg-white-only breakfast, it's a safe bet that I am pulling the recipe out of my "secret" file. My lack of concern for your safety might be justified by my contempt for your diet.
Anyway, these are two soups that I've made over the last couple of weeks, when the colder weather didn't seem like it was ready to let go. Perhaps my last two winter soups:
Quickie Clam Chowder
Salt is good. Pork is good. It stands to reason that "salt pork" should be even better. And it is. The trouble is, I didn't realize that, traditionally, you remove the crackly bits once the fat has rendered and eat them quietly in the corner. I left them in.
Also, potato. Unless I want a straight-up baked potato, I go with the Yukon Gold. They just taste a little better, more buttery and less mealy. But, again, that's a matter of preference.
Hence, the rather disquieting pink hue. But it was still good.
3 ounces salt pork. cut up into 1/4-inch pieces. Bacon is a worthy substitute, but, dude, use the salt pork.
3 Fist-Sized Yukon Gold potatoes or 2 Russets, peeled and cubed
1 Medium onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
3 cups whole milk
2 "small" cans or one big can of clams, preferably packed in oil
scallions and oyster crackers, for garnish.
The method here is pretty straightforward. Place the salt pork in your large soup-making vessel over medium-low heat and allow the fat to render. The "lean" bits should be the consistency of Bacos. This should take a couple of minutes.
Once the fat renders out, there should be about 2 or 3 tablespoons, you can remove the crunchy bits. Me, I prefer to leave them in.
Place the onions in the pot, and cook until translucent. You don't need to add salt here. Trust me.
Add the garlic and potato and turn the heat to medium/medium-high. You don't want the pork-fat to smoke. Stir frequently until the potato cubes are soft.
Stir in the milk, slowly, and bring to a strong simmer.
Start mashing after about ten minutes while simmering. Eventually, it will take on the consistency you desire.
Now, kill the heat and fold in the clam meat. You can add as much or as little of the liquid in the can as you want. The more you add, the potentially stronger the mix will be, but also may impart a greasy flavor. So go easy.
Potato and Fontina [TAOC] Soup
This was a soup that my friend Rachel called me about one night. She wanted potato soup, but cheeze soup at the same time. And it had to taste good. On the phone I suggested something very much like this. For the record, this was the first time I made it. I liked the taste a LOT, though.
A lot of cheeze soups use a bechamel base, and, well, I've never cared much for them when prepared at home. It just tastes grainy, especially with leftovers when the cheese cools off. But this soup, obviously, is thickened by potato starch, so the only trick is to make sure to simmer the cheeze for a while.
1 medium onion, chopped
2 carrots, peeled and chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
2 T butter or olive oil
2 cloves garlic
3 Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and chopped
4 Cups chicken broth
8 ounces fontina cheese. grated. (opt for sharp cheddar if you are feeling proletarian)
Again, simple soup.
Heat the cooking fat in your soup pot over medium-low heat and add the onion, garlic, carrots and celery. Add a pinch of salt, and cook until softened.
Add the potatoes, and cook until soft.
Add the broth, bring to a boil, and cook for about ten minutes, stirring occasionally.
Mash the potatoes to achieve the consistency you want, and remember, you are adding cheese here.
Turn the heat to low, and add the cheese, SLOWLY. About a quarter-cup at a time. Make sure the cheese is completely melted before adding another batch.
Serve!
Posted by Jeff at 2:30
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14 Feb 2008
If You Were a Booger, I Would Pick You
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First, did you see Mark Bittman's recipe for braised short ribs? I've come to really enjoy his "Minimalist" videos, and it made me smile to see him do something I prepared only last week.
One minor quibble with his preparation: you really do need to bind the ribs up with twine. So much of that collagen around the bone will dissolve, it's important to keep the pieces together because the bones help keep the meat submerged in the braising liquid.
Anyway. I both gave and received chocolate this holiday.
I received an absolutely wonderful bar of chocolate made by Santander and enjoyed its fruity, coffee-like notes. I do admit that I fear that "Single Origin" will become the new culinary fetish term.
I should add as a side-note that there was an interesting piece on NPR this evening about a French woman who works as a chocolate taster. Worth a listen.
For my part, I opted for homemade. Truffles are deceptively easy. One is often tempted to monkey with the basic firm-ganache formula of 2 to 1. Do not add sugar, or butter or salt, or too much extra liquid. Just... chocolate.
Zen-Like Truffles
2 parts Dark Chocolate(~60-70%)
1 Part Heavy Cream
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract or spirits (Kaluah, Amaretto, etc.)
(cocoa powder, for dusting, is also optional)
Chop the chocolate into very small pieces.
Add the (whatever) to the cream. Bring to a boil.
Pour cream on chocolate. Let it sit for a few minutes.
Stir until the chocolate has melted and is glossy.
Pour the mixture into a soup bowl, cover with wrap and let cool. The soup bowl will allow for easy scooping.
Use a melon baller to portion out little spheres of chocolatey goodness.
Place spheres in the freezer for a few minutes to re-firm.
Smooth spheres into more careful spheres with your fastidiously clean hands.
Dust spheres with chocolate...
Package and send to your Valentine. Or just eat em'
Posted by Jeff at 11:58PM
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